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"So Pastor Jones, slightly put out, took the bird home and at first it was a great novelty ... BUT: it turned out the bird's previous owner was a sailor on a tramp freighter and he had taught the bird to speak with his own tendency to foul (no NOT fowl you idiots) language ... after three or four very embarrassing incidents... (Including one where a young mother who was breast-feeding her daughter was encouraged to "Show us ya tits, Sweetie." ) Pastor Jones decided he was going to have to get rid of the bird. This was not an easy decision to make because he had grown fond of the galah.Discussing his problem with one of his church elders, the elder said; "how about we try something. I have a parrot that talks but all it does all day is sit on its perch and intone 'Let us pray!' Perhaps the good influence will rub off on your galah if we bring them together?"Anything was worth a try and so, although Pastor Jones was doubtful he agreed and the next day Elder Pirot brought his parrot. Over the course of the next month or so she managed to re-do her entire wardrobe at his expense. When she got bored with him and he also started making noises about spending too much time (and money) on her; she made sure his wife caught them. The name-calling wasn’t nearly as hurtful this time because she not only knew she deserved it but had planned for it well ahead of time.The next married guy wasn’t as well off, so it didn’t last very long. It was fun because he was really good in bed, even if his bank account wasn’t up to what she was looking for. It turned out his wife controlled most of the money. His name was Steven, a professor at her school — just not for any of her subjects. In her mind she would never do something like that for grades, after all, as she told Lois, a girl has to have some standards! But like the previous guy, eventually, the wife caught on. The old Sandy would have felt guilty about the ensuing divorce, but the current one didn't much care.There wasn’t.
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